Reality: In a relationship, sex provides a break from the pressures of our daily lives. It allows us to experience a quality level of romance, vulnerability and sharing, and shouldn’t be a source of frustration. But don’t restrict your thinking by thinking sex only consists of the actual physical act. Touching, caressing, kissing and holding hands, or any other means by which you provide romance and intimacy to your partner, can all be viewed as part of a satisfying relationship. If your sex life is unfulfilled, it inevitably becomes a gigantic issue.
Feeling frustrated or exasperated by your relationship? Is it going down the gurgler faster than cold bathwater? Life isn’t supposed to be like this, is it? You’ve tried talking to your partner but nothing’s happening. It all seems too stagnant, too difficult, too demanding. You want to leave but you don’t know how. Or, conversely, your partner wants out and you don’t know how you’re going to cope.
When you enter a relationship, you’re certain your partner is THE ONE – right? Your life together is a clean slate and you’ll love each other forever. Now, fast-forward a few years and chances are you’ll encounter pent-up resentments, mortgages, children, affairs and the stresses of everyday living. Suddenly, to one partner the grass looks greener on the other side and singledom seems appealing.
So, is it realistic to expect a relationship to last forever?
People change over time. Expectations alter. A couple can either grow together or grow apart. The fact is, every relationship has a beginning and an end, and the end is always caused by a death – either the death of a partner if the relationship is life-long, or the death of the relationship.
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. [i]
Ask yourself the following and be totally honest in your answers. Are you in your relationship because you really want to, or are you in it today simply because you were in it yesterday? If you could re-live your life, would you still choose the same partner? If you could wave a magic wand and easily end your relationship – without any damage, aggravation or financial fallout – would you? Does your relationship leave you feeling cheated or that you’ve settled for too little?
[i] Rodney Dangerfield – American comedian and actor